Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we voting?

10) Republican, because the best preparation for a future without electricity is a government that’s already medieval.

9) Democrat, because we need to know we can buy rubbers after the bars close.

8) Libertarian, because hands off my shit or I’ll fucking cut you.

7) Green, because, dude.

6) Constitution, because we are also old white people who take a dim view toward blacks.

5) Tea, because FREEDOM TAXES DEBT GUNS ILLEGALS JESUS BLARGH!!!

4) Independent, because we love Burger King’s hamburgers but prefer McDonald’s fries.

3) Socialist, because these student loans aren’t going to forgive themselves.

2) Romney, because we want a president we could play polo with.

1) Obama, because his skin looks like our favorite drink at Starbucks and he’s twice as smooth.

8 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17) zombie, because in the long run, we are all dead.

I was gonna make mock of the fact that we have a Senate candidate running named Nimrod, but it turns out he actually seems to be a stand-up guy.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Because, dude.

P.S. Also, I have been assured by Jill Stein that she will send all the people involved with blooger's word verification effort to Gitmo.
~

fish said...

I voted straight Rhino party.

CORNELIUS THE FIRST FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I voted for Bill and Opus.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

There was an election?

Substance McGravitas said...

I pointed and laughed.

Brando said...

I would totally vote for Bill and Opus.

Another Kiwi said...

I hear something about an election but it may be head noise. I get a lot of that shit.