Friday, August 31, 2012

Friday Random 11 Punchlines

Too busy to ramble about tunes today, but I can't let the Clint Eastwood speech go unused like an 80-year-old's Viagra prescription, so I present:

Top 11 Things Clint Eastwood Said at the Republican National Convention

11) Does this empty chair make my ass look fat?

10) They were originally going to have me talk to a hard stool, but I already do that every morning in my bathroom. 

9) I'm here today to show you just how wrong you are about the stereotypical image of the Republican Party. 

7) When I told an ape to make a right turn thirty years ago, little did I know Republicans everywhere would listen. 

6) I was also a pioneer in the conservative treatment of women.

5) I like Mitt Romney because he reminds me of myself: a rich actor who is terrible at ad libbing. 

4) Plus, if anyone knows what to look for in a leader, it's a guy like me whose whole career revolved around playing psychotic outsiders with a violent disregard for authority. 

3)  In closing, I once asked a punk if he felt lucky while I pointed a .44 Magnum in his face. That is precisely the message the GOP wants to deliver to everyone thinking about voting for Obama. 

2) Finally, don't forget to check out my latest picture, Every Which Way But Lucid.

1) You know, chair, you're a much better actor than Sondra Locke. 


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

dood, that's a lot of work to get back to that Sondra Locke joke.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Brando's the hardest working man in the 11 bizness.

Substance McGravitas said...

Finally, don't forget to check out my latest picture, Every Which Way But Lucid.

If the Republicans can get out the ape vote who knows what might happen?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

If the Republicans can get out the ape vote who knows what might happen?

Some might say that's their base.

Churlita said...

Because I am forever 8 years old, I laughed and laughed at #10.

I hope your birthday was wonderful.

Brando said...

Was hoping to do a new 11, but had to rush through work so I could take a few days off to see Rush this weekend.

fish said...

To be forever known as Rushing your work.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

where are you seeing them B?

Brando said...

Virginia. Out to see them with my buddy who is a long-time fan. Can't wait to see them.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...