Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Is Daddy funny?

A typical night at the home office of CJSD International, Ltd. My daughter is in the bathtub and we are discussing the subject of whether her mother and new Italian literary sensation The Lovely Becky is funny.

ME: Libby, is Mommy funny?

LIBBY: Yeah.

ME: Is Daddy funny?

LIBBY (pauses): No.

ME: What? Daddy's not funny?

From the other room comes a triumphant cackling as if one of the Graeae had just snatched Perseus' nutsack from him.

TLB: That's my girl!

ME (making a sad clown face): I don't think she understands what "funny" means.

TLB: You'd be less hurt if she'd called you fat.

ME: Damn right. (Moving into another room out of Libby's earshot). Fuck if I'm going to read her stories in all these different voices, trying to make her laugh. I might as well be a sack of shit reading Green Eggs and Ham.

TLB: Except a sack of shit reading Green Eggs and Ham would be funny.

ME: Goddamnit.

20 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

LOL! (channeling my inner Kathleen)

FWIW, I always loved Green Eggs and Ham. Also, I think you're funny, Brando.
~

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I love love love TLB!

And to be fair, a grown man calling himself "Daddy" is indeed not funny in my world.

Brando said...

That's Libby's title, not mine. Mine is "World's Greatest Dad," but she won't say that yet.

TLB said...

I love you too, AG. And to be fair, Brando walked right into that one.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Obviously, your humor is too sophisticated, Brando. on too mature a level.

Try something more juvenile, maybe. Have you ever heard of a 'fart joke'?

Churlita said...

I'm right there with you. People can call me stupid, fat and ugly, as long as they think I'm funny. Really. What's more important?

Jennifer said...

TLB sure was funny... :)

Von said...

TLB is HIlarious. This is why I make her be my friend.
Oh, and you're funny too, Brando.
The funniest? I'm guessing....Libby.

fish said...

I might as well be a sack of shit reading Green Eggs and Ham.

Rush Limbaugh's business model.

Brando said...

LOL at fish.

Kathleen said...

LOL @ ZRM!

[touche thudra]

Another Kiwi said...

Mrs Kiwi: Oh, your father is hopeless, let's get a new one kids
8 yr old: No we like him, keep him
MK: But why?
8YO: ah... he's.. ah ..well, funny.
A ringing endorsement

fish said...

+1 over Brando I guess.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Yes, Daddy is funny, Brando.

fish said...

ME: Is Daddy funny?

LIBBY (pauses): No.


To be fair Brando, she may not have been talking about you...

Brando said...

Evil fish is evil.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I can't believe fish said that.

I think he has been hanging out with Charlie Sheen. Or at least Chuckie Buckets.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Also, I hope Dr. Jones finds some time for Friday Music posts soon, because they are Excellent.

However, and i speak from considerable experience, do not shortchange, wife, child, and paying gigs to do so, because we are just imaginary digital friends.

Brando said...

Should be the last weekend of crazy working. I think I've worked every day this month except the 5th.

Snag said...

If you can't make your kids laugh, irritate them instead. At least you amuse yourself.