Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we still trying to resolve the Gulf oil spill?

10) Scooping it up in Gulf-sized Ziploc bag.

9) Raising money for future cleanups by letting Hollywood directors use it as a setting for dystopias about a future America ravaged by environmental disasters.

8) Soaking it up with millions of worthless BP stock certificates.

7) Mumbling something about robots and hoping no one asks a follow-up question.

6) Creating a new reality show, So You Think You Can Clean Up a Catastrophic Man-Made Environmental Disaster?

5) Proposing to flip the orientation of the Earth so that the oil flows “up” into the Gulf floor.

4) Mobilizing the 101st Scrubbing Bubbles Division.

3) Talking tough, because nothing cleans up oil faster than a stern promise of investigations.

2) Sticking heads further in the sand until we no longer see any leaking oil.

1) Handing Sarah Palin a rubber hose and telling her to “suck, baby, suck.”


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

1) Handing Sarah Palin a rubber hose and telling her to “suck, baby, suck.”

pure win, baby.

Another Kiwi said...

Sadly, Sarah blows, so it will just make bubbles.
Is there not a plughole in the Gulf somewhere???

Capcha is cation, true.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"Suck, Sarah, suck! Blow is just a figure of speech!"

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

well, I am sorry about that one now. But I read it in one of my dad's Playboy's ages ago, so how dirty can it be?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Frankly, I'm not getting over it.

It's so depressing to watch big corporations screw the country to hell, while neither our press nor the Democratic party will stand up to them.

They've all already been purchased by those same corporations.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

compared to Chris Matthews and Kraphammer, I am AFFORDABLE!!

How come I can't be purchased by a corporation? I wanna be purchased by a corporation!! I will be a good cubicle dweller!! I could even learn tu use, nay LOVE, Windows!

Brando said...

After seeing what Kraphammer and Limbaugh said, I clearly am wasting my time thinking of jokes when I could just copy right-wing talking points.

Churlita said...

#4 Nd #1 are pure genius. Seriously, though... My daughter told me they were trying to get people to donate their hair to help clean-up the spill. Weird.

Substance McGravitas said...

Move Guatemala North and East some.

fish said...

&e) Cap and pray.