10) Arrange a visit from detainee's mother, who expresses how disappointed she is.
9) Ask, "What's wrong? Is something wrong?" over and over until they crack.
8) Strap detainees in chairs and force them to watch marathon sessions of America's Funniest Home Videos.
7) Eat all of their pet fish right before their eyes.
6) Force them to motorboat a hairy fat guy who just played pickup basketball. (AKA "the new waterboarding")
5) Put them on a new reality game show, So You Think You Can Withhold Vital Information?
4) Lock them in detention hall with four other misfit detainees until they understand that there is more to life than jihad.
3) Get in their faces and scream that they can have a part on 24 if they cooperate.
2) Play some Barry White, pour them a little wine, and make them gaze into President Obama's eyes. Go ahead, try to lie.
1) Tell them that none of the interrogators are putting their pants back on until they get the truth.
Play some Barry White, pour them a little wine, and make them gaze into President Obama's eyes. Go ahead, try to lie.:)
ReplyDelete17) feeding them Brownie Batter Skittles on a sidewalk in TUSTOSAN until they buy donuts.
ReplyDelete17a) goatse.
18. Rush. If one doesn't get to them, the other will.
19. make them live in the U.P.
1) Tell them that none of the interrogators are putting their pants back on until they get the truth.
ReplyDeleteI'm not putting them back on even then.
OK ZRM- pony up with the clues on how to get spaces between italicized words and our comments. What does the magic blogger ball have to say??
ReplyDelete20. Make them make mad, passionate luv to Chuckie Buckets.
I wonder if Skittles will come out with a goatse variety... actually, I think some of the Chocolate Mix varieties would work. Never mind.
Never mind ZRM- as always, fish helped.
ReplyDelete20. Make them make mad, passionate luv to Chuckie Buckets.
ReplyDeleteIs that a goateese?
Is that a goateese?
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!!
Is that a goateese?I don't know whether to laugh or throw up. Maybe a little of both.
ReplyDeleteLike this?
ReplyDeleteI really want to click that link and yet... part of me knows better.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh #9. I appreciate the genius that is you.
ReplyDeleteyeah, don't go to zombies for help.
ReplyDeletelook, I've had to learn FORTRAN and BASIC and 10 digit machine language, and I am bitter about having to learn html also.
ReplyDeleteIs it any wonder I eat branes?
ZRM- If I ever need space around my italicized zombies, I know where to go.
ReplyDelete(spinning WWZD.....)
ReplyDeletezombies congregate.
fish said...
ReplyDeleteLike this?
I think I saw that kid in TUSTOSAN last Friday.
(spinning WWZD.....)
ReplyDeletezombies congregate.
Uh-oh...
Also...
ReplyDeleteTaken out of context, this sounds vaguely dirty...
fish said...
Like this?
ZRM- I believe we've inadvertently started going all Zardoz on Brando's blog...
ReplyDeleteonly 12 to go!
I can't believe Brando hasn't smacked me for the wanton Michigan trash-talking.
ReplyDeleteHey, I hear this is the place to be for branes.
ReplyDelete"send more paramedics!"
sure, a zombie shows up and all the breathers leave.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe Brando hasn't smacked me for the wanton Michigan trash-talking.
ReplyDeleteHe's probably doing enough of his own.
sure, a zombie shows up and all the breathers leave.
ReplyDeleteI heard that.
Great... the breather shows up and the zombie leaves.
ReplyDeleteJonathan Alter is on the ed Show, and holy crap, man, step back from the tan-in-a-can.
ReplyDeleteI know. I just saw him. I had to stop watching.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it about time for some Tom Waits?
ReplyDeleteMe, I'm still digging the Placemats, doing "Black Diamond". Let It Be is so fine.
There's a Food of the Gods sized rabbit eating my strawberry plants! Where's a scarezombie when you need one?
ReplyDeleteWhat's he doing down there?? What's he building in there!?
ReplyDeleteOnce, we used to frequent a bar where the bartender use to love the Georgia Satellites. Their guitarist once said his ideal job would be playing for the Replacements, so I made the tender play Pleased To Meet Me, which became a bar staple.
ReplyDeleteGood drinking music, or depression music, or rebel music, or driving music, or love music....
Remnants of Easter, I'd guess...
ReplyDeletezombies only eat people brains. Which is why plover survived the encounter.
I like Ed, he's a big loud blue collar guy like I'm used to.
ReplyDeleteBut I've got the mute on, so the visuals are all I'm seeing.
O crap, I forgot Chris Matthews is on MSNBC
ReplyDeleteSweet living rabbits, I LOATHE Chris Matthews.
at least I don't have to look at Chuckie Bukkitz.
ReplyDeleteO YES BG I SAID IT.
I EATED JENNIFER'S BRANES AND SHE WILL NOT BE COMMENTING
ReplyDeleteI had to be nice and go pick up Grizzled from the train. It's raining out. Sorrrrr-eeeeeee.
ReplyDeleteSomebody has to spoil the party.
ReplyDeleteHi kids!
~
That, obviously, was a brain-less Jennifer.
ReplyDeleteHey, thunderpants!!
ReplyDeleteGot branes?
Watching Philly brain the living bejesus out of the Brewers. Remind me again why we spent 400 million spacebucks on that clammy stadium?
ReplyDeleteVOWELRINES!!!
ReplyDeletewe're not gonna make 100 if I'm the only one here.
ReplyDeleteI don't have that much alcohol.
This is the last time I leave you kids home alone while I'm out of town.
ReplyDeleteBTW, ZRM, this...
19. make them live in the U.P.reminded me that this was supposed to be a Top 11 with a punchline similar to that one as the capper. But I forgot, probably because a zombie at my brain.
I thought we were only going to 30! I guess someone did eat my brane...
ReplyDeleteCaffeine and zombies do not mix.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Olson loves brains.
ReplyDeleteJaysus. I forgot what the post was about. Eating zombie brains?
ReplyDelete23.) Make detainees read comments to Brando's blog posts and follow all the links...While listening to Rush in the UP.
I'm waiting for someone else to do number 50....
ReplyDeleteI'm waiting for someone else to do number 50....
ReplyDeleteToo late...
Brando- did you wake up with any crows looking in your window this morning??
ReplyDeleteClean up on aisle 3.
ReplyDeleteClean up on aisle 3.
ReplyDeleteI blame the onslaught of sporkle ponies...
Oops... that should have been sparkle although I think I like sporkle...
ReplyDeleteI love sporkle pony. It conjures up sporks, pork, sparkles, and ponies. The phrase sporkle pony is itself a sparkle pony.
ReplyDeleteThe phrase sporkle pony is itself a sparkle pony.
ReplyDelete:)
I agree.
Pony bacon. Yum.
ReplyDelete58 comments.
ReplyDeleteOne of our weaker efforts. But then, we didn't bring the Zardoz this time.
I guess it can serve as a cautionary thread.
Brando! #9 was golden.
ReplyDeleteGold, Jerry, gold!
And don't even tell me you guys are gonna start ripping on Jonathan Alter!!!!!!
The hammer will come down on you all!
Make them eat at Fugakyu in Boston. That's punishment. Also mufango or WTF it is that AG had to eat in Fajardo, PR last night.
ReplyDelete