10) Drinking 12 vials of 5-Hour Energy and doing all of our Christmas shopping in 15 intense minutes.
9) Telling mother the truth about the “friend” we brought home from college.
8) Making naked snow angels.
7) Spiking the punch at the office party with peyote, then dressing up like a coyote and ordering our boss to give us a raise.
6) Sending out Christmas cards with photographic evidence showing why husband became ex-husband.
5) Letting Elmo tickle us.
4) Watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer while playing Dark Side of the Moon.
3) Tying an iPad to a fishing line and pulling it through crowded mall.
2) Setting concealed bear traps by the tree to catch Santa.
1) Whipping out the mistletoe cockring.
7) Spiking the punch at the office party with peyote, then dressing up like a coyote and ordering our boss to give us a raise.
ReplyDeleteWINNER!@!!!##)()*1!
~
Brando have you read Coyote Blue? #7 reminds me of that.
ReplyDeleteI have not (or read any Christopher Moore, which I should definitely rectify). I was thinking of The Simpsons, both the chili cookoff episode and Homer's spiritwalk in the movie. And of myself, because I just asked for a raise.
ReplyDeleteI scored 8 of ten.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I win?
(also, number one is an AWESOME way to make the drive to Minneapolis just FLY by)
Extracting essence of nog.
ReplyDeleteI scored 8 of ten.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I win?
Hilarious.
What do I win?
ReplyDeleteThe iPad, if you catch it.
I'm seriously considering trying #10 next year.
Brando, you are a naughty naughty man.
ReplyDeleteDid you get coal?
ReplyDeleteThe iPad, if you catch it.
I will settle for a signed galley copy of your first novel.
ReplyDeleteThe iPad, if you catch it.
I will settle for a signed galley copy of your first novel.
If I three-peat, do I get A Bears loss this weekend?
ReplyDeleteThe beauty is that it doesn't really matter if the Bears win this weekend after the Eagles choked last night.
ReplyDeleteI also plan to get off my lazy ass and start really blogging again. Right after a nap.
The beauty is that it doesn't really matter if the Bears win this weekend
ReplyDeleteI hope you still feel that way.