10) Posting a strongly-worded tweet from twitter.com/unsecuritycouncil57.
9) Sending Joe Biden for direct negotiations so he can talk them to death.
8) Telling Kim Il-Jong if he stops testing, he can be in Obama's Five.
7) Broadcasting North Korean premiere of Wargames so they understand that in nuclear war, there are no winners.
6) Parachuting Jack Bauer to Pyongyang and giving him a day to take care of it.
5) Calling China and telling them, "Hey, you know what North Korea said? That you don't have the stones to launch preemptive strikes against their suspected nuclear sites. And that the way to tell Chinese women apart from Chinese men is that the men have smaller clitorises. What's that? Sure, we can e-mail you the coordinates."
4) Inviting them to settle the issue on the hottest new game show, Arms Deal or No Arms Deal.
3) Erecting a mile-high trampoline along the West Coast.
2) Warning North Korea if they don't stop testing nuclear weapons, Dick Cheney will kill every first-born North Korean male.
1) Honestly, we have no idea. Got any suggestions?
CHOCOLATE SKITTLES!!
ReplyDeleteGiving all the NK nukular scientists (seriously, until they have a weapon with anything like a modern yield, as well as delivery system more reliable than a water rocket, they don't get the real pronunciation) free porn accounts.
ReplyDeleteshare some of Snag's half-smokes
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm full of good ideas:
ReplyDeleteOffer to trade them; the opoortunity for one of the following:
1.Let them Waterboard John Bolton
2. give them Dick Cheney's mechanical heart.
3. Allow them to put GWB in a round room and tell him there's tequila in the corner.
You can have my half smokes when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.
ReplyDeleteNot even for world peace?
ReplyDeleteI'll bet we could get this whole mess sorted out at a minor league ballgame where we chowed on some half-smokes.
ReplyDeleteI think Brando has a point, considering North Korea's 'Nukes' are barely out of the 'fireworks' category, and Estes sells more capable missile systems to 12 year old firebugs.
ReplyDeletecapcha warns us, however, to watch out for 'kideye' when firing them off. A wise precaution.
You can have my half smokes when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.
ReplyDeleteWhich should be about half way through the case.
In that case, it would be 'cold, grease-saturated arteries'
ReplyDeleteIf Snag has any left, I'm going up there to heist them.
Kidnap and Deliver Miley Cyrus to help restart N. Korea's faltering movie industry.
ReplyDeleteThis is what is known as a win/win.
Can we make it a package deal with Michael Bay?
ReplyDeleteBut I don't think even Kim Jong Il is THAT crazy.
17) send Kathleen to pee in their wastebaskets.
ReplyDeleteO lord I am sorry for that one.
I think sicking Dick Cheney on them should be all 1-10.
ReplyDelete