10) Buy rights to "Hey Jude" and change chorus the chorus to cha...cha...cha...cha-cha-cha-ching.
9) Bribe the Sun to come a million miles closer and make winter finally go away.
8) Have The Rolling Stones killed.
7) Quit day job to focus on lifelong dream: beating Rock Band on the Expert level.*
6) Pay for new Florida Democratic primary on the condition that we get to hunt the loser at Disney World’s Discovery Island.
5) Poll 25 points higher than Mitt Romney did.
4) Throw birthday party for Allan Greenspan and only to have a naked Paul Krugman jump out of the cake.
3) Turn Kansas into a giant plasma TV that we can watch from our orbiting space mansion.
2) Lose $25 million of it in our next divorce from Pete Best.
1) Buy Ringo.
*Embarrassing Brando nugget here, courtesy of TLB.
Man, did I ever marry badly. I would so love to quit my day job and devote my life to achieving expert level at Rock Band.
ReplyDeleteBuy a new leg to stand on???
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm in hell anyhow... and no true offense was meant to anyone of any limb persuasion.
Jennifer, you know my physical therapist only has one leg, and he'd kill for Heather McCartney's. But I think he'd also appreciate the humor.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she should buy Neverland Ranch and the Beatles catalog within. Does Jacko still own that?
Noelle- I hope he would indeed appreciate the humor and would know that no offense was meant.
ReplyDeleteI think Jacko had to sell the catalog to keep Bubbles in rhinestones.
The visual of Paul Krugman popping out of a cake nakes is too much for me!!!!!!
ReplyDeletelol.
...naked
ReplyDeleteI kind of liked "nakes."
ReplyDeleteMr. K is not an attractive man.
Blue Girl? I notice she never comes to RoD anymore unless we put out jokes or Res.
ReplyDeleteFer shame.
Shame.
Shame.
Shame.
AG's 11. Have her blog nemesis put out of the blogging business once and for all!
Blue Girl? I notice she never comes to RoD anymore unless we put out jokes or Res.
ReplyDeleteFer shame.
Shame.
Shame.
Shame.
AG's 11. Have her blog nemesis put out of the blogging business once and for all!
....but has an extremely attractive mind.
ReplyDelete16) Buy up all the chocolate skittles to keep them out of the hands of unsuspecting consumers, and use them to build a rammed-skittle adobe Survival Shack in the backwoods of Canadia to survive the oncoming economic "unrest".
18) Buy Bear Stearns.
24) Enroll Snag in the Moose-of-the-Month club for life.
.ummm, my last comment made more sense before AG butted in line.
ReplyDeleteTwice.
Don't talk that way about UC! 3B FOREVER!
ReplyDeleteBrando, I kind of like "nakes" too. But, felt it was too nick-namish for the partying Paul Krugman. lol.
ReplyDeleteOh no! I have the visual again!
AG, don't worry. I've been reading all your great posts. And they have been great.
They're just very deep right now. All teenage sexuality and nakes and stuff. And I am in total denial regarding that subject matter as I type this....
Pay Jeff Gillooly to "take care of Helio Castroneves."
ReplyDeleteset up The Foundation for the Recovery and Treatment of Chocolate Skittles Consumers.
ReplyDeleteFund The Department for the Location and Eradication of Sink Lettuce.
ReplyDeleteBilly, it's not my fault you are so in the blogs and fast in other places.
ReplyDeleteCornhole.
Found the Althouse Institute for the Historical Documentation and Analysis of Obscure and Pointless Blog Wars.
ReplyDelete20) buy enough salt to melt the U.P
ReplyDeleteGet the hell out of Dodge.
ReplyDeleteOh lookie! AG's calendar says it is Thursday.
ReplyDeleteThursday.
Now vote for Hillary.