Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday Random 11

It’s one more random than 10!

President Santorum. God help me, but part of me wants to see that happen. That has to be one of the signs of Armageddon, right? And lo will the horseman ride, and ye will know it is Him by the stench in the air and the frothy mix of thy most unholy expulsions and the oil of passion. And if by some stroke of dumbfuckery he actually gets the nomination, where would that put Romney in terms of worst Republican candidates of all time? How can you spend a gazillion dollars, have shoulders you could land a C-120 on, and have the kind of winning squishy centrist cracker platform that appeals to people who are conservative idiots but don’t want to appear like conservative idiots, and then struggle against Newt Gingrich and a guy who says Satan is giving America the shocker? That’s worse than losing to Eli Manning, twice.

1) “Staying Fat,” Bloc Party. Seriously, my fucking theme song. I gained ten pounds over the holidays, mostly because I am like Pac Man and must EAT OR DIE. So The Lovely Becky and I decided to go on the lo-carb South Beach Diet, which has worked wonders for me in the past. The problem is the first two weeks are completely carb-free. They suck like the precious rock candy I would step over the still-warm body of my mother to shove in my piehole, which I can’t even call a piehole anymore. In typical fashion, we also started our diet by pigging out like we could smell the Santorum Administration riding in and wanted to eat as much pizza, wings, and sweets as possible before the Rapture. Although I guess if gluttony is a sin, that probably means that bakers, confectioners, and Culvers will be left behind. That’s a tribulation I can live with.

2) “Paint It Black,” The Rolling Stones. This always reminds me of high school. Sophomore year we studied poetry in English. Our teacher pulled the move of letting us bring in songs to analyze. This one girl brought in “Paint It Black,” and her explanation of it actually confused me to the point where I have no clue what this song means. I brought in “Witch Hunt” by Rush, which is a song about how bringing Rush songs to your English class will not get you laid.

3) “Lived in Bars,” Cat Power. I would like this song better now if it was called “Lived in Bars of Chocolate.” Seriously awesome, even sans chocolate.

4) “Bad Connection,” Yaz. AKA one of the songs other than “Don’t Go” or “Only You” on Upstairs at Eric’s. Could only find a live version, which made me ask, "There are live versions of Yaz songs?"

5) “Leaf House,” Animal Collective. If you can beat off while walking a tightrope, juggling a monkey with your free hand, and reciting Proust from memory, while I will give you props for creativity and difficulty, I still don’t want to watch you beat off.

6) “I Am the Walrus (Live),” Oasis. Of course, after slagging off Animal Collective, this cover of the classic Beatles tune comes on and I start bopping my head, even though I know all of the Animal Collective spirit of the original gets Blueshammered by the Fighting Gallaghers. Plus they wank the shit out of this at the end. So what do I know? Tangent: TLB has turned Libby completely against Rush. Libby will offer, unprovoked, a hearty “I HATE RUSH” on occasion. However, when I was singing to her before bed the other night, she asked, “Can you sing me more Beatles songs?” I immediately relayed this to infamous Beatles-hater TLB like I had just won my O.J. prize.

7) “Heart Skipped a Beat,” The xx. This would have definitely been on a mixtape from me. I would have laid on my bed, listening to it on headphones, hoping she was listening to it at the same time, and that even though she made me feel like the drums after the guitar solo on “Tom Sawyer,” I know that would really annoy her to put that on a mixtape, so would she please accept this instead?

8) “Burn Hollywood Burn,” Public Enemy. Twenty-two years later and White People Solve Racism is still what gets nominated for Academy Awards. Then again, Flavor Flav didn’t exactly help the cause.

9) “Don’t Look Back,” Boston. Except for “Foreplay/Long Time,” I can’t listen to them. This is coming from someone who wore a hole in my Boston tapes. Amazing video, lying somewhere between concert footage from Almost Famous and Blue Oyster Cult trying to give the Bruce Dickinson the cowbell levels he demands.

10) “High and Unhinged,” Les Savy Fav. Love, love, love. Fantastic couplets delivered by a guy who looks like Zach Galifikanis’s balding brother.

11) “Complete Control,” The Clash. Favorite Clash song of all time. What more is there to say? And what better way to end the list? Bonus: Maybe the Clashiest video of all time. 

Have a great weekend.

33 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

This list pretty much is a shut out for me. In fact, since I only saw the joe Strummer-only version of the Clash, I am gonna call it a .5-for-11, a paltry .045 hit rate. Which rounds to zero.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'm going with this as the Clashiest video of all time.

Followed by this.

But seriously, they're so great, you can't to go wrong.
~

blue girl said...

President Santorum. God help me, but part of me wants to see that happen.

I know! Me too, kinda. A part of me wants to watch it all go crazy, blow up and end. lol Terrible! Cuz I *really* want sanity and am hoping that the 12/21/12 event is actually a universal paradigm shift where we all start to really know and *do* the right thing.

One can dream!

I love, love, love that Libby wants you to sing the Beatles to her. Which songs are her favorites?

One more thing: Boston and BOC are in the same bucket in my mind. God pshaw'd about that one FB once, but I've always considered them the same-ish.

blue girl said...

God pshaw'd about that one FB once

!!!!!

What was I talking about?!?! OMG, here's what I meant: Someone pshaw'd me about that on FB once.

And I do not believe it was GOD.

Or what if it was?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I love BOC, so y'all are quite wrong on that.

A part of me wants to watch it all go crazy, blow up and end.

Me too! But hey, Imma zombie.

Of course, Prez Don't Google Me will outlaw ock music, so Todd Rundgren will go to prison...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"ock" music, LOL.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

But seriously, they're so great, you can't to go wrong.
~

Dunno, thunder, "Cut The Crap" was pretty uninspired.

Brando said...

I always sing "Libby in the Sky With Diamonds." I added "Octopus's Garden," "Blackbird," and "Here Comes the Sun." Also threw in REM's "Superman" for good measure.

LOL at BG having a Joan of Arc moment on the Facebook.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Zombie pedant (because, really, I figure everybody is fed up with me already) weighs in to mention that "Superman", while sublimely done by REM, was written by The Clique.

These "Beetles"- are they some kind of pop combo?

blue girl said...

ock music

lol, I thought when I read that... ZRM knows about music I've never even heard about!

Brando, those are awesome songs for Libby's soul! I love that!!

Substance McGravitas said...

5) “Leaf House,” Animal Collective. If you can beat off while walking a tightrope, juggling a monkey with your free hand, and reciting Proust from memory, while I will give you props for creativity and difficulty, I still don’t want to watch you beat off.

Why review one band when you can review the whole prog-rock genre?

blue girl said...

Why review one band when you can review the whole prog-rock genre?

Oh no, now I have visuals I shouldn't have. My eyes! My eyes!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

that's prog-OCK, substance.

fish said...

Dunno, thunder, "Cut The Crap" was pretty uninspired.

No Mick Jones, not the Clash.

Personally not a big fan of side 6 of Sandinista. They probably had 1.5 album's worth of tight music. the went 3 sides too many.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

i am not an Oasisi fan, but it is possible that Oingo Boingo is also standing on the platform watching the Clue Train leave the station with THEIR version of "I Am The Walrus" also.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Sandinista works REALLY REALLY well if it is mixed in with the rest of the Clash in a random.

This seems to be one place where I have to break with Friend Fish.


"This Is London" from CTC is pretty good, though.

fish said...

Sandinista works REALLY REALLY well if it is mixed in with the rest of the Clash in a random

This is known as dilution. If you have to dilute it to make it palatable, one might pause to consider if it really is all that good to begin with.

Counter example, London Calling is perhaps the best 4 album sides ever assembled.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

This is known as dilution. If you have to dilute it to make it palatable, one might pause to consider if it really is all that good to begin with.

I disagree. The stylistic diversity and invention on Sandinista is laudable and pleasing, but is so far afield from typical Clash songs that I, for one, find that a few early tracks to break them up merely highlights the worthiness.

I did pause to consider whether it was worthy ,when I had Sandinista on vinyl. But when I went to digital music, it was easier to reconsider; And some well-chosen covers of those songs have served to highlight the quality, like the Nirvana versions of early Meat Puppet songs laid stark the impressive songwriting of the Pups.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I will put a soapbox down, dammit, and defend Sandinista if I have to.

The thing I might - MIGHT, mind you- criticize is the album sequencing.

The Loud Family released an album a few years back, Days For Days, that featured short untitled bits and mixes, sound collages, between the actual songs. The arrangement worked better; if the Clash had perhaps mixed the more experimental in with the more straightforward, I think it would not have attained the reputation it has.

You're not gonna get me to argue about London Calling.

Brando said...

Thunder, I hadn't seen that "White Riot" vid before, that was awesome.

Sandinista is punk's White Album, with many of the same strengths and weaknesses of that album. I don't enjoy it as much as the first three, but I appreciate how adventurous it is. I think that album and The Jam's later work showed how punk bands could keep the punk spirit of their earlier work while getting beyond three-chords and a cloud of dust. Christgau not surprisingly summed it up best: "if this is their worst--which it is, I think--they must be, er, the world's greatest rock and roll band."

Also, LOL at Substance's comment. That was golden.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

well, I am also a Mekons fan, so obviously not that discerning in any case.

fish said...

Thing is, when you experiment in the kitchen, you don't serve the things that come out sucky to your guests.

It isn't that they weren't doing things sufficiently "Clash" for my tastes, it's that the album is strikingly uninteresting in its experimentation. One big yawn after another.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

cooking and recording music are not strikingly similar processes, fish.

it's that the album is strikingly uninteresting in its experimentation.

That's a value judgement, though; I might find value in things you don't. Obviously that is so; again, see my obligatory Mekons comment. Perhaps experimentation is too strong a word; evolution, maybe? Stretching out stylistically? Fucking around in New York? "We really need to not self-produce?"


Whether you judge the efforts to be successful or not, I have found the record has amply rewarded my ability to listen to more of it than I ever did during its vinyl incarnation; and it increase my appreciation for a band that could have put out London Calling II, instead putting out a complex and sprawling LP documenting their struggles to not become "Clash, INc." The band was willing to allow their fans to make up their own minds.

FWIW, it seems the music critic world liked it much more than the record buying public. Not that that's saying much.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Now would be a good time to step in with a dick joke, Brando.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Of course, in my earlier comment, I meant "This Is England".

I'm a dick.

Brando said...

Now would be a good time to step in with a dick joke, Brando.

The other day I was heading out to Dr. Evil's Java Lair to do some writing. I wanted to bring a diet-friendly snack, so I put some almonds in a Ziplock bag. I held it up to TLB and said, "Look at my nut sack."

Von said...

I know all of the lyrics to all of the songs on Upstairs at Eric's. All. Of. Them.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

TLB is such a lucky woman.

Brando said...

TLB is such a lucky woman.

I remind her of that daily.

fish said...

TLB is such a lucky woman.

I remind her of that daily.


By showing her your nutsack?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

At least he didn't toss it to her and say "Grab my nut sack for me, will ya?"

fish said...

But don't crush them.

Brando said...

At least he didn't toss it to her and say "Grab my nut sack for me, will ya?

That's because I'm a gentleman and would have said, "please."